Dear Dr. Sohail,
Without much reservation, I would like to state that a marriage between a believer and a non-believer is nothing more than a sand castle. There are of course some exceptions.... there are always a few exceptions when we are examining human traits and behaviors. The difference of religious beliefs may not show its negative impact on the relationship during the early years of the married life, but it will catch up with them in most cases especially after the children have arrived. As you have noted the case of the Muslim women married to an atheist, the matter of the circumcision of their sons has become a problem for the relationship that appeared to be good until then. Another noteworthy point in this case is that Islam does not allow a Muslim to marry an atheist. The problem of circumcision is only a secondary in nature, the most fundamental and ongoing problem that I see in this case is that the marriage is simply not acceptable and legitimate marriage ( in accordance with Islamic faith) as long as the women claims to be practicing Muslim. It is surprising that she prefers to eat halal meat, but pays no attention to the fact that she is living in sin. It is equally surprising that the (atheist) father is adamant about not to allow circumcision for the boys as if there is an atheist code of conduct written down somewhere that does not allow this minor operation? What exactly this relationship lives on: physical attraction, compatibility in political discussions or economical dependency of one on the other? Only time will tell how long the sand castle will take before it disintegrates? Under this topic, I note, in another letter where the parents are encouraging the children to choose any of the several religions (as if it is a matter of choosing a shirt in the department store) it is clear that the parents do not really believe in any religion themselves, they have not conviction or deep seated interest in their own faiths, therefore, the condition or the constraint of the topic does not really apply to this couple, I consider both of them the non-believers. As there are no strong beliefs, there will be no difference of opinion hence no negative impact on the relationship. This marriage will fair better than the other where one is a believer and the other is not. Sincerely, Javed Chaudry Feb 4, 03 |